Over nearly three decades of developing sales teams and crafting bespoke sales
methodologies, I’ve observed a common pitfall: many people remain, if not surprised, somewhat put off or frustrated when a negotiation arises, objections emerge, or specific counteroffers surface. But should they be?
In real estate, negotiation isn’t necessarily a single moment, it’s an ongoing dialogue woven through the entire client journey.
Long before offers are made, contracts exchanged or properties are rented, agents and property managers are negotiating trust and expectations.
From initial discovery conversations or first appraisal, through fee discussions and vendor expectations, agents are often negotiating long before an offer hits the table.
You’re selling your value, qualifying intent, and pre-empting objections, scenarios, or ‘what ifs’ early so you’re not blindsided when the real deal offers are put in the spotlight.
In a profession where emotion often drives decisions and perception shapes price, negotiation isn’t just a transaction skill, it’s a heartbeat of real estate success.
Mastering negotiation is as much about preparation and positioning as persuasion.
It’s an old-school skill, one brought into the spotlight recently while coaching real estate professionals, that remains a vital modern differentiator today.
A skill that boosts confidence and directly impacts results.
A strategic mindset is to assume that nearly everyone will negotiate, potentially both early and late in your dealings.
Simply recognising this gives you a critical edge over those who don’t prepare.
Many negotiations falter not due to lack of skill but due to lack of preparation.
Here, NASA’s mottos serve well: Expect the best (but prepare for the worst!) Likewise, negotiating should always be approached for the benefit of all involved.
The Three Stages of Negotiation
There are numerous aspects to negotiation preparation, but they can be distilled into three simple yet powerful stages, aligned with classic wisdom such as solution-selling methodologies.
1. Make a Stand: Firmly and Strategically
We mentioned it in the intro, and we’ll reinforce it here, likely again later too, it’s that important.
The power of your negotiation, your power to close, is symbiotically linked to your power of discovery earlier in the process.
Everyone in real estate knows to expect counteroffers and counter requests.
Agents and property managers, acting in the best interests of their clients, will follow those instructions.
This applies equally to learning how to make a stand for yourself, early, your fees, your offerings, your professional worth.
Take the everyday scenario of a listing appointment. A homeowner leans forward and says: “Another agent offered to do it for less.” It’s a test, not just of your fee, but of your conviction.
Great agents don’t drop their rate to stay in the game; they hold their ground by reframing value.
It’s about positioning, confidence, and demonstrating holistic value.
Not just tangible. Something we’ll get to before we wrap.
Learn not to make just one stand, but several, and stand firm. Making a stand is an art in itself.
Yes, you can simply say no, but far more effective are subtle, strategic ways to decline without ever uttering the negative word.
- Remind the other party of the problem you are helping them solve.
- Reaffirm the goals or vision you’ll help them achieve.
- Reference quick, relevant case studies (a typical client, their challenge or goal, what
you did, and the end result). - Assert your uniqueness, credibility, proven track record, skill or self-worth.
By preparing multiple perspectives, you can push back on initial requests in several ways, none of which feel combative.
This shifts the negotiation from being stuck on a singular point to being an open, fluid discussion.
When you confidently make multiple stands, including to allow for and be comfortable with silence, you’ll be surprised how often you close negotiations on your ideal terms.
If discussions still stall, you may need to move to the next phase: trading concessions or
reaching compromise.
2. Trade Smart: Mastering the Give-Gets
Any negotiation typically involves a standard list of requests. In solution selling, this is known as the give-gets phase: what you’re asked to concede and what you request in return.
Depending the sector (residential, retail, industrial) you already know the common requests, better pricing, improved terms, added inclusions, extended conditions.
In return, you might seek longer commitments, future stability, increased flexibility, or reduced risk.
Preparation is key: make a list of concessions you’re willing to offer, or give, and ensure you have corresponding asks in return.
This applies equally to your direct dealings with customers in relation to your services and fees or acting in the best interests of your clients in the sale.
This links again to discovery, go deep earlier in conversations to identify, then utilise, the very concessions, compromises, and give-gets the buyer previously indicated were possible.
Strong hypotheticals or typical scenarios uncovered in discovery are more easily adapted and built into your negotiation give-gets in reality.
Smart agents treat early conversations like reconnaissance. When you ask smart, deep questions, you’re not just being polite. You’re uncovering leverage points.
One experienced agent put it best: “Every ‘just curious’ answer hides a real story. The more I understand that story, the less I ever have to bluff in a negotiation.”
Discovery is the discipline that wins deals before they begin.
A brilliant example of value exchange is the story of Kyle MacDonald, a Canadian blogger who started trading with a single red paperclip in 2005.
Through a series of 14 trades – including a doorknob, a camping stove, a snowmobile, a recording contract, a year’s rent, an afternoon with Alice Cooper, and a role in a Hollywood movie – he eventually bartered his way into owning his own house.
His journey underscores that value creation isn’t solely about money; it’s about recognising what’s valuable to the other party.
As you negotiate your own give-gets, remember two things:
- Ensure you’re satisfied with the worth of what’s exchanged.
- Avoid making large, round-number concessions. Unequal numbers suggest anchoring
to something substantial and measured—costs, value, effort—rather than arbitrary
discounts.
With strategic bartering, most negotiations find a balanced exchange that benefits both sides.
However, there will be times when a request crosses the line of what you’re willing or able to offer within your own services, or, in the case of closing a deal on behalf of a client, definite amounts that will be declined or passed in.
Imagine the end of a long Saturday. An offer on the table, the buyer’s nervous, and the vendor’s holding out for a round number.
The gap? $5,000. The agent knows both parties are emotionally exhausted, but not yet fully ready to walk away.
They pause, breathe, and reframe. Why lose a $1.2 million deal over $5,000 – 0.4% of the price.
If they’ve done a great discovery, they are already armed with the tools, from both parties’ own words, to find a way to make both sides feel they’ve won.
Within minutes, compromise, give-get may be reached. That’s negotiation at its essence: not pressure, not persuasion, but perspective.
3. Know When to Walk Away
Every deal has a walk-away point. This threshold may vary depending on the opportunity.
Perhaps you’re willing to concede more to secure a major client, luxury property or long-standing partnership rather than for a one-off transaction.
The key is to define your limits before you enter the negotiation.
Nothing is worse than accepting a client or deal at rates that leave you feeling taken advantage of later.
Interestingly, some of the world’s most natural negotiators are children.
With relentless resilience and a persistence that borders on strategic genius, they instinctively reattempt, reframe, and reinforce their often-audacious requests.
Despite the innocent façade, puppy dog eyes and all, their tactics are anything but accidental.
However, their Achilles’ heel lies in their deep emotional attachment to the outcome.
This is where their negotiation prowess falters, though often, they make up for it with sheer persistence or an irresistible charm that’s hard to refuse.
However, the true power in any negotiation, as an adult, lies in your ability to walk away… and mean it!
When you detach emotionally from the outcome, you shift from needing to choosing, projecting a quiet confidence that subtly influences the other party to reconsider their stance.
The moment to establish your walk-away points, the things you will not bend on, is not in the heat or emotion of the negotiation, but in your pre-negotiation strategy.
Armed with this knowledge, you can calmly and politely reaffirm your value while simultaneously leaving the door open for them to return.
The Value Perspective
Two final, synergistic principles can significantly enhance your negotiation skills.
Understand and Communicate Value
In my TEDx talk and my book Add Value, I explore a holistic framework around value, including self-worth. People frequently mistake price for value.
But when all five value elements are demonstrated – tangible, emotional, service, relationship, and personal – price becomes a part of the picture yet far from all of it.
To ground these principles, I distil each element into a simple rhyme, with the tangible value verse reading:
Dollars, percentages, numbers, and time
Is the tangible value nursery rhyme.
But the metrics that matter are yours, not mine!
Never assume the primary measurable factor in every deal is always money.
More importantly, if you don’t take the time to understand and articulate ROI (return on investment) – which can be demonstrated through all five value elements – even monetary value becomes a hard sell.
Ask High-Quality Questions
We’ll say it one last time: ultimately, the strength of your negotiation directly correlates with your skill in earlier discover.
Your ability to ask great questions and be genuinely interested in the answers throughout the process.
Deep, rich, strategic questions give you the insights needed to prepare for pitching, presenting, and negotiating far more effectively, holding firm, and negotiating from a position of strength.
For both you and your clients.
Negotiation isn’t just about winning; it’s about achieving outcomes that align with value, strategy, and mutual benefit.
Approach negotiations with the mindset that they will happen, prepare thoroughly, stand firm on your value, and be ready to trade wisely.
And if needed, walk away with confidence.
After all, the best negotiators aren’t just influential or persistent, they’re often quietly confident and better prepared.
