Caroline Bolderston: three steps to clearer thinking

Our thoughts are the most powerful thing we possess. They drive our feelings, and our feelings colour our actions. Caroline Bolderston explains how to change your thoughts and change your results.

Every day I see the impact thoughts have on agents, and as a coach it’s often the place I spend the most time supporting, guiding and strengthening.

And the most amazing thing about thoughts? We have 100 per cent control over them.

Everything starts with thoughts.

You know what it’s like when you wake up in the morning, when there is a moment of ‘neutral’, and then your thoughts start to kick in, and then immediately you start to have feelings about them.

What you may not be aware of, is that something happens between the thought and the feeling.

What lies in between is the meaning you attach to the thoughts, and this is what determines the feelings you experience.

As a meaning-driven being, you are often looking to validate, justify and rationalise experiences, events and information to understand.

At the very core, you are often trying to protect yourself from something or someone.

I see these behaviours in every coaching or training session, and I can assure you that your thoughts are controlling how much you achieve.

I am hopeful that right now, your goals for the new year have been rewritten, or you are in the process of doing so.

To help you create ‘new thinking’, I wanted to share three simple steps to help you reboot, so that your thoughts empower you for greater success on every level.

Step 1: Recognise global beliefs

What generalisations are you making about life, people and things that are stopping you from taking action?

So often I hear an agent say something along the lines of ‘nobody wants to be contacted on a Saturday afternoon’.

Really? Nobody? How do you know that?

If your thoughts are generalising on a global level, then catching yourself out on this will be a game-changer.

Instead of thinking that everyone behaves, thinks and feels a certain way, genuinely think about the accuracy of this before believing it.

Recognise that a global belief is playing out and limiting your opportunities.

Step 2: Resist assumptive thinking

How often do you assume to know what is happening behind the scenes?

If a buyer is not returning calls, or a prospective vendor hasn’t responded to an email, what are your thoughts saying?

If you are like most of the population, your thoughts jump to a meaning that is a made-up story – the buyer has found something else, or the prospective vendor has chosen to list with another agent.

The meaning that you attach to the thought can so easily turn into feelings of disappointment, frustration, anger, doubt and fear.

Have you ever had an assumption proven to be incorrect? Resist assumptive thinking at every turn.

Step 3: Get genuinely curious

Now that you recognise global beliefs and resist assumptions, you need to open your thoughts to genuine curiosity.

When you come from a place of wonder, you can gain insights, awareness and new information which allows you to think with accuracy.

When I know what the reality of a situation or event is, I make better decisions, my responses are more appropriate, and my feelings are directed in the right place.

Make the shift to start your thinking with ‘why’, and then seek to find the answers.

When you start to think with curiosity, many deletions and distortions in your thoughts will be clarified, which drives better actions and shapes your perspective.

When it comes to thinking clearly and with accuracy, letting go of old beliefs, shutting down assumptions and dialling up your curiosity is everything.

Your new thinking for can open the door to many opportunities that up until now, you have denied yourself.

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Caroline Bolderston

Caroline Bolderston heads up Being Bold Coaching and training, which provides coaching and support for Sales Agents, Sales Teams and Principals. For more information visit