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Transform 2017 Week 4A Tanja M Jones: How to Build Trust and Land More Listings

Here are the highlights from our Super Six session with leadership, mindset and peak performance coach, Tanja M Jones.


Tanja M Jones

Key Points

  • Tanja gives one question to ask that will your clients talking about themselves, helping you build immediate rapport
  • Don’t call them listing presentations. Call them ‘listing consultations’. Don’t present to me, consult with me.
  • A 3-step method to “Park Your Funk” so that you can be present with the client


“Rapport is an energy game. Your energy speaks before you’ve had an opportunity to introduce yourself.”

Video Notes/Transcript

I feel incredibly grateful to have this opportunity to hang out and contribute to you and have one of my favourite conversations, which is it’s rapport that opens more doors.

In the next little while, we’re going to look at why is rapport important. I want to give you a bit of a context as to why am I so passionate about this conversation, because it really is the genesis of why I niched my peak performing coaching business into real estate.

My journey started because I was Mr. and Mrs. Vendor. It was like, “Why are some agents flying and other flopping when it really comes to the fundamentals of connection?” We’re not asking for a cup of coffee here. We’re asking a stranger, “Hey, can I partner the sale of your biggest asset? Can I work with you on what is one of the most stressful experiences of life? By the way, you don’t know me.” It’s a really significant request.

If you want to succeed and have longevity and have raving fans and have brand ambassadors, you have to be relational. You have to be over there with your clients, more interested in them than you are in the result you want.

Our unconscious mind is the most powerful mind we have. We have a conscious mind, which is all about choice, and we have an unconscious mind which holds our concerns, beliefs, opinions, judgements, assessments.

But our unconscious mind is also the mind that reminds our heart to beat 100,000 times a day and we don’t have to think about it.

Connection happens at an unconscious level and you’re going to learn shortly some strategies that will help you build connection unconsciously. It’s not a conscious thing which creates flow.

If you go to any events, don’t ask people what they do, ask them, “What do you do when you’re not working?”

They’ll be surprised by the question because you’re not doing the expected, “What do you do? What box can I put you in?” Really what I’m looking for when I ask is, “Do we have a connection? Am I in the same industry as you?” Like we’re trying to break the ice.

Try it on. “What do you do when you’re not working?” A) They’ll kind of be a bit surprised, and B) what you’re doing is eliciting potentially a passion. Maybe they fish. Maybe they knit. Maybe they skydive. Maybe they do ballet. What you’re doing is you’re eliciting something that their heart loves, not what they do. Maybe what they do, they don’t love.

Your vibe attracts your tribe. Rapport is an energy game. Your energy speaks before you’ve had an opportunity to introduce yourself.

Oprah Winfrey has on her office one of my favourite quotes ever. “Be responsible for the energy you bring into this room.”

I have a philosophy around being responsible for your energy and that’s called “Park Your Funk”. So who here in this room and online has been driving to a listing consultation.

I call them listing consultations because as a vendor, I don’t want you to present to me. I don’t want you to sell to me. I want you to consult with me. I want you to ask me questions. I want to dance in the conversation and let’s problem solve together.

So who here has been driving to their listing consultation and they got a phone call that they lost a listing right before it happened?

How do you feel? So you get down and you’re in the car. You’ve had the call. It didn’t go how you wanted it to go. How do you feel in that moment?

Who would like to know how to park your funk. Awesome. Now, this is something you can do before you go to a live listing consultation. This is something I invite you to do before you do your two hours of prospect and power.

And this is something you definitely want to do as your driving home to go and be with your family. Cause who knows sometimes when they’ve had a challenging day, they go home to their ‘why’ and they know they’re not being the best version of themselves at the end of the day.

You want to ask yourself these three things. Number one. What am I thinking? You want to park your funk. How do you do that? You ask yourself, “What am I thinking.” You literally just acknowledge your thoughts. And thinking about this, the listing I just lost. The coffee I just spilled on my pants. The washing I’ve left in the machine, that’s gonna get funky when I get home. The car I didn’t buy. Whatever it is.

Each time you check in, you don’t go into it, you just acknowledge it. You just go, “Yeah, that’s on my mind,” until you feel done.

The next question is, “How do I feel?” You were saying you know, “I feel disappointed.” “I feel like I’m lacking confidence.” “I feel insecure.” You just name it and when you name it, your subconscious, which is addicted to solving things goes, “Ah. Okay.”

And then the third part is, “How’s my body?” Has anyone got a sporting injury that they’re navigating? Just put your hand up. Right. Or sore back or shoulders. So your subconscious mind is always trying to resolve that tension and it might be a small percentage, but that small percentage is in the background that will impact your level of presence with the people that you’re about to meet.

So they’re the three questions you ask. Once you close those files, you’ll find your mind is clearer, you’re energy is calmer, and you’re more present.

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