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Coach
Coaching Transcript:
00:00 Introduction by Samantha McLean
01:52 Goal Setting for Transformation
For me this very session is the most important session that you’ll do in the whole program. Not because I’m doing it. Of course, that goes without saying. No,ย because what I am very, very, very, passionate about, the thingย I am most passionate about is that everyone sitting at this table, irrelevant of what business you’re in, irrelevant of who your colleagues are, has an individual journey both in life, in business and even in Transform.
At Real+ what we hold as being the most important value of our whole business is ‘freedom to choose’ and that’s what we’ll strive to help you with.
What ‘freedom to choose’ย means is we want to create a platform with you, for you, so that you have the freedom to choose whatever it is you want. What it is that is going to make you or to give you that feeling of happiness.
There is a book and some of you who like reading and some of you don’t like reading and I get that, so again starting with what you want, you can read it or you don’t have to read it but there is one book which I really love about happiness and it’s called ‘Happier’.
It’s by a gentleman called Tal Ben-Shahar, yeah, you’ll find him. Anyway, and if you can’t, let me know and we’ll get it for you. In essence, Tal Ben-Shahar is a Harvard University scholar as a lot of these guys are and he runs a course at Harvard and it’s called ‘Happiness’. It is the most attended or one of the most attended courses, because in life we are taughtย everything.
We are taught Maths, English, we are taughtย everything you can think of, we’re taught. Butย we continuously chase the elusiveness that is happiness because we think that happiness is out there when happiness is actually right here and it’s all about being happy with what you are and what you have at that point as suppose to thinking I will be happy when…
We expect to be entirely enthralledย and besotted with our business life everyday, with our personal life, with our social life, with our activities, with our extra-curricular stuff, with our hobbies, with everything.
Basically when it comes to business and your profession, sometimes you do something that you love, sometimes you do something that you’re good at, sometimes you do something that makes you money, and it’s about understanding what the metrics of those three things are.
If you lose your way a little bit, that’sย something that might help you. But for today what I want just focus on is some goal setting. You’ve spent two days inside that ARPMย kind of vortex where you’ve had lots of ideas and thoughts and ‘oh, I could do this, what about if we did this?’
They are all great ideas but at the moment they are other people’s ideas. We’re going to start by having a look at you first and you’re all thinking that we’re going to start looking at business but we’re actually gonnaย start looking at yourself.
We put a lot of time, effort and energy into our business lives. We’re about to put a huge amount of time in the next 12 weeks. It’s reallyย important to identify what is it for?
I’ve given you there 8 elements of what I look at in terms of a life. It’s not a balanced wheel ofย life, but these are the 8 segments of life. What I’ll like you to do, and you don’t have to share theseย with anyone, and of course you can share them with your coach or with myself at any point, and of course each other. If you feel, but there is no pressure.
The other thing is that there is no right answer. When I go through a series of questions for you, don’t write down what you think you should be writing down. I’m going to talk you through each one and what I want you to think about is…I want you to think about even just this year or the next 12 months, but that finiteย period, 12 months is probably a good shot.
As I go through each area, I want you to write down what your goals would be in that area. The trick is you don’t have to have something in every area. Equally, you don’t need to fill every single line.
The first part there is ‘Relationships’. What would you like to achieve in your relationship? Do you want a relationship? Do you want to get out of one that you are in? Is there something that you want to improve in your relationship? Is it a significant other relationship? Is it a family relationship? Is it a personal relationship?
What needs to change, adjust or be done differently in order for you to feel that you have the level of significance in that space or a change that you want to ensure takes place.
It could also be your family relationships or it could be a relationship with your mum, your dad, your siblings, it could be your cousins. Whatever it is that you consider significant relationships. It could have been like a work colleague scenario.
Quite often we have situations in businesses where the relationship inside the organisation’s quite toxic, that might be something, but right now we’re really just looking at that personal aspect of your life.
‘Health’. When we think about health, health can actually be physical health, mental health and spiritual health. It’s not just about, ‘I want to be healthier’. What does that look like? It might be as simple as, ‘I want to make sure that I drink half a litre of water a day’.
It might be that you want to reduce fat intake. It might that that you want to exercise. It might be you want to go and get yourย blood works done to see how you’re tracking. What would you like to see health-wise?
The third column there is ‘Financial’. What do you look at your finances? Have you got debt that you want to reduce? You want to reduce your spending? Do you want your savings? Do you want to look at budgeting? Do you have a personal budget? If you don’t, I’ve got a fantastic one I’m happy to share with you.
We do a lot of budgeting work inside our business for our teams. Is there something that you’d like to save towards?
The fourth one is ‘Fun’. What do you actually do for fun? For me it’s a simple thing as an absolutely ridiculous belly laugh. Nothing makes me happier than laughing. Or it might be hanging out with my friends or I go to a run club on a Saturday morning and that, to me, that’s actually not exercise, my run club. It’s health and fun.
‘Giving’. Everybody when we get to giving start saying, “Oh, okay, I need to save the planet and I’m going to start donating and sponsor 35 children and go on corporate sleep-outs.”
This could be, giving of time.ย It could be giving of money, it could be giving of thought, it could be helping people within the office that you know, it could be giving at any level – to your kids, to the local community, but it’s something where you feel like you’re giving back.
The sixth one there is ‘Learning’. We typically think of learning, we go, “Oh, what do I need to learn for business but learning can be just learning for fun.
The next one there is ‘Travel’. Now travel, by the way, doesn’t need to be going on some big overseas international holiday. Travel can also be exploring your local area. I’ve got a friend of mine who is from England and we quite often head out and we’ll takeย the kids or us or whatever, and we might go for a couple of hours of the day and we just go somewhere different.
And then last one there is ‘Career’. I know that sitting around this table you’re all doing something for your career right now but you might have a specific goal that you’re looking to achieve and I’d love you to write that down.
Now, what I’d like you to do is look at that page and identify one thing, just one, that is non-negotiable. It has to be done this year. Whatever period you’ve set in your mind. It is the one thing you want most out of the whole page.
What we’re going to do is I’m going to show you what we call ‘values play-off’. You don’t need to tell me what’s on the rest of your sheet. You can have health but you won’t have relationships, look what’s on relationships, which one do you want?
You can have relationships, but you can’t have financial, which one do you want? The reason you go through this is because when you actually have to play them off against each other, you start to actually uncover what is the most important.
That doesn’t mean that the people involved are more or less important, but typically what happens is you end up with the building block, the foundation upon which everything else will sit because …Traceย said to me once, and I mentioned this to Adriana the other day.ย She didn’t say it directly to me but I was in the room,ย right? We weren’t having lunch. What she said was, “Ladies, you can have it all but you just cannot have it at the same time.”
When you look at that entire sheet and everything that you’ve written down there is your goals, do you think that you can do all of that in the next 12ย months? Yes or no?
We set ourselves up for ‘goal failure’ normally, because we look at goals individually as supposed to part of an entire map. So you’ve got to look at that map and identify what is your foundation for this year.
Now look back at your item and play-off for yourself. If it’s finances and finances are dry in this year, this is not driving your whole life by the way, this is just driving your year right now. Even your next quarter. But you won’t do everything on that sheet I guarantee. I’ve done this process with, I’d say thousands of people.
Most people will write down far too heavy a load for themselves and don’t forget we haven’t even touched on business yet. This is the time before 8:30 and after 5:30 and in the midstย of all of that you’ve got to sleep for 7 hours, right?ย Maybe you haven’t, right?
Right, so you’ve already gone that step. The word ‘can’t’ is not in my vocabulary.ย We don’t allow it to be used in the business. There is no such word. I actually think it’s a rubbish word.
You can, but at what cost? Because when you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else. That yes is a decision that weย make, or no is a decision that we make, and we just have to own the decision and be comfortable with it.
14:08 Conclusion – Continue to Part 2 of Fiona’s Coaching Session by clicking here.