Elite AgentProductivity & Best Practice

How to practise self-regulation

Let’s face it, we’re in the business of people, and all the whiz-bang technology in the world is not going to help build that relationship if you cannot connect with your customer!

Therefore, it is a universally known fact that strong emotional intelligence is one of the best tools you can have as a leader and as an agent.

Whether you are transacting with a buyer or a seller – the trigger, or the motivation, is essentially emotional driven.

As a salesperson, your capacity to understand the emotional motivations of your customer, and to empathise with them, can turbo charge your ability to meet their needs and close the sale.

Leaders and agents with high emotional intelligence are more aware of their own emotions.

This allows them to display more patience towards their customers.

They can better regulate their emotional input into the sales process, thus self-assuring customers and making then feel more comfortable.

Typically, they also have more highly developed social skills enabling them to connect with a broader number of people.

These leaders and agents who self-regulate effectively are a rare and inspirational species. They seldom lash out, attack, make irrational decisions, judge, or compromise their values. Self-regulation is all about staying in control.

If you are in the habit of practising self-regulating, you know how to monitor your emotions, and control them, that means you think before you unleash your emotions to the people around you.

No knee-jerk reactions here, thanks!

Now that you know what self-regulation looks like, it’s also useful to have a clear picture of what it looks like if you don’t self-regulate.

A lack of self-regulation can result in emotional, irrational, or inappropriate outbursts in the workplace.

As noted at the beginning of this article, we are in the business of people, and when it comes to transacting their prized asset, many buyers and sellers are coming from an emotionally charged place, thus it is up to us to manage that emotion.

Self-regulation means having the ability to not only control what’s going on around you, but to also understand the intrinsic values that are most important to you. Right now you might be thinking: ‘Sure, but how do I get to that place?’

You could start by getting familiar with your “code of ethics.”

John McCormack of Starr Partners Real Estate says: “Agents must have a positive attitude, honesty, loyalty, enthusiasm, integrity, people skills, drive and ambition, a high level of organisational skills, dedication, flexibility and being a team player. Above all, they must be ethical”

If you know what’s truly most important to you, you will instinctively know which way to step when faced with a moral or ethical decision.

Cast your mind back to the last time you had a customer experience where your buttons were pushed to the point where you felt compelled to push back. What happened when you pushed back?

Was it a win? Or did you get the moral victory but lose the battle?

EQ is all about gut feeling, knowing your limits, your boundaries, and your options. Stick to the signposts and you will soon start to discover a world of more options.

Follow these tips to get started:

• Hold yourself accountable
Do you naturally tend to blame others when something goes wrong?

If that is the case – stop!

Make a commitment to own it and face the outcomes, whatever they are.

This ensures you will have a clear conscience as well as earning the respect of those around you.

• Practise being calm
The next time you’re in a challenging situation, be very aware of how you act. Practise deep-breathing exercises to calm yourself.

Write down all the negative things you want to say, and then, when you’ve got it out of your system and onto the page, tear it up and throw it away.

Expressing these emotions on paper (and not showing them to anyone!) is safer and more effective than expressing them in anger.

• Slow down
When you experience anger or other strong emotions, slow down to examine why.

Remember, no matter what the situation, you can always choose how you react to it.

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